Seth was first diagnosed by my mother when he was 3 years old. He was an only child, and “only” children tend to be a bit different from children brought up around siblings. I denied her claims and kept treating him as if he was any other child. By kindergarten, his teacher started making the same claims. So, I had him tested by his school. His own pediatrician did not want to recognize Seth’s differences. I did not want him on pharmaceuticals because I had adverse reactions to drugs and Seth tended to follow my genes, and I did not want his fresh new body plagued so early. I did not want to listen, and fought in my own way, but still went through the process.
I learned so much. I was wrong for fighting.
I spent many nights after work helping Seth to understand his homework. I would come home, picking him up from his grandparents on the way, and he would sit at the table while I cooked dinner. I would watch as he would drift off and not keep attention to his work. Verbally reminding him to stay at task, I had to stay on him, or he would never complete his work. His pediatrician told me there was nothing wrong with him, and that he was just young, and a single child, and not to worry. They even told me how he was ahead of the curve on everything. But the school testing showed that he had cognitive issues and focus problems. The school could not diagnose, however, but they went ahead with the extra help regardless of the lack of medical diagnosis. This help gave him a person to work with him one on one and extra time for tests, as well as someone to read him the materials for him to better comprehend. I would get frustrated while helping him, but this helped me to better understand and to have more patience with him. He was not stupid by any means, he just had problems understanding what he read, and how he retained the information. This I could work with.
By the second grade, Seth’s secret help was starting to end because I needed a true medical diagnosis for his help to continue. Staying up until 9pm every night doing homework was not healthy for him and I needed more help. His doctor still would not give a diagnosis, and my mother told me how much help was in Toledo, so we moved. Within 6 months I had him diagnosed and getting help. They wanted to do drug trials. I was against it at first. The doctor who diagnosed him, did so in 5 seconds and just by looking at him. I asked how she knew, and she explained the details. She also explained that the drug trials would be swift, and I would know and see a difference within 24 hours. Her knowledge and what she taught me in those
few minutes helped me to go ahead and start the trials. His second medicine was the one.
She was right; I knew within 24 hours and dramatically seen the difference.
We stayed in Toledo for fours years. During that time Seth blossomed. I watched as he played with friends, was apart of the Cup Scouts, learned to play a couple of different instruments, rode his bike, and was a happy normal child. The medicine only had a couple of side effects I noticed which was his personality was a bit more robotic, and less emotional, and his weight was maintained better. I made sure always ate healthy, but one of the other parts of his Asperger’s is a lack of some thing in the brain that helps control his weight. I cannot remember the name of this, but over the years, and when I have the time, I do research to find better ways of helping Seth with all the aspects of his syndrome. While in Toledo, he was apart of a free city help program that would pick Seth up after school, take him to a converted church where they would bring many children like Seth together, and help them with their homework, do activities, and teach them they were not the only ones like themselves. They would also feed them a good dinner and bring them home by 6pm. This program was amazing because it helped the children as well as the parents. It gave the children the things they needed and gave a break to parents that have been doing the work on their own for so long, or to the ones that had no idea where to start.
This was just the beginning. There are many details left out for obvious reasons. Today Seth is about to graduate, and every day has been different. He is no longer on medicine. I have found other ways that help, and I continue to work with Seth in learning how he can develop these qualities on his own without medicine, and show him how magnificent he is just the way he is. Doctors have complimented me on how I have raised him which gives me hope that what I am doing for him will benefit him long after I am gone. This is my lifelong work, and my greatest continuing accomplishment. I am proud of my son and all he continues to teach me and is.
There is so much I could write on this subject, and so much I have to offer in this area. My help might help someone like who I was so many years ago when I need someone.
